I've been thinking a lot lately about self-identity & individuality. For me, growing up, I always felt I had strong inclinations towards certain things, that others were not in the slightest bit interested in. For instance, I was the only kid in class who liked listening to Nat King Cole, I was delighted when the school started a chess club & I wore my bright yellow DMs with pride every 'own clothes day', despite the sniggers.
I grew up with, not only a strong sense of self, but also, my parents' encouragement for me to 'do what feels right,' regardless of what others are doing. Having parents who, by other people's standards, were considered 'hippies', I grew up believing in a lot of things people didn't understand & others would simply laugh at. Manifesting, higher dimensions, spirits, the power of crystals. You name it, I probably grew up on it.
Of course, back in my day, the other kids at school didn't understand half of these things & so, for the most part, I kept that aspect of my personality quiet. I would spend time with friends, but then relish time to myself, where I could do my own thing & keep to my own thoughts. It's probably only been this past year or so, that I've found more & more like minded, or just open minded, people, who I've been able to share these beliefs/interests with.
Which has been really pleasurable for me, to be able to be open & not constantly self-editing what I can & can't say, for fear of people's reaction. I think it's terribly sad when, you have a view point, or an interest in something, that is so different from the norm, that you end up quashing it, in case people disagree, or don't understand. We live in a society that acts as though it's a school playground, everyone constantly vying for attention & acceptance. Everyone wants to be the cool kid.
We see something on Instagram & suddenly we want it, we want that person's life, their wardrobe, their two thousand followers. But that's just it, isn't it, we're following someone else, forgetting what makes us happy as individuals. Rejecting our own choices, in search of someone else's. Forgetting who we are entirely. Even I find myself getting lifestyle envy looking through my IG homepage. Sighing that, whilst I may be in Rome, someone else is in Greece & whilst I may have a deep tan, someone else has skinnier legs.
We've been sucked into conforming without even realising it! Brainwashed by social media. It used to be a case of magazines feeding us with subliminal messages, now it's everywhere & with a phone addiction that's strong enough to bring on a mail check every two minutes (just in case, something came through in the last ten seconds since you put your phone down), we're hard pushed to escape its clutches.
I for one want to rediscover what makes me tick, like my love of menswear & skateboards. Rose quartz. Always giving in to the desire to, quite literally, stop & smell the roses. Listening to Ella Fitzgerald. Getting overly excited about tattoo possibilities. Harassing my astrologer mother for information & insight. Touching everything, so I know how it feels, the texture, the shape. Attempting to fill my brain with more Italian words. All the little idiosyncrasies that make me me.
Maybe it's time we all put our phones away & rediscover our own homepage.
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