{Insightful Sunday} To thine own self be true.

I've previously touched on the importance of intuition, listening to oneself, trusting in your gut feelings, but another really important thing is to be aware of how others are influencing you.

Think about how often a situation arises, whether it be a relationship drama, a family quarrel or a dispute at work, whereby you invariably find someone who seems to feel the need to impart their wisdom upon you, usually in a misguided attempt at helping, whether you asked for their advice/opinion or not.

It's somewhat inevitable that those around you will have an opinion on what's going on in your life, however, it's important to remember that regardless of their intentions, it is ultimately your life & your own opinion, thoughts or feelings on the matter in hand, that are the only ones relevant.

It's equally important to remember that everyone's opinion on a matter will be based on their own ideals & philosophies, which may have no connection to your own.  Everyone is battling their own demons & dependable on their mindset, their pearls of wisdom may be tainted by their own fears, which they're projecting onto you & your situation.

Of course it's important to be able to have an outsider's perspective on a situation, especially when, at times, we can be too involved to see things clearly, but be mindful of what others are saying & learn to recognise if what they're saying to you imposes a sense of negativity, or whether it is uplifting & resonates with you.

It's very easy to be led astray by others, especially when you don't necessarily have the confidence or conviction to trust in your own opinion or judgement.  It's important to hear people out, but take the time to listen to yourself.  You know inside whether what people are saying is right for you or not, know that & stand by it.

Don't be afraid to have a differing opinion, even if it seems illogical, or doesn't make sense to others.  Remember everyone is different & what works for one, does not work for everyone.  There will always be someone who disagrees with you, that is something you can count on.  Which is why it is so important to follow your own guidance, not that of others.

Your life must be led the way that is right for you.  You choose the path & just as you would not wish to be judged, do not allow yourself to judge others & the path that they choose to take.  We cannot all go the same way.  We must do what is right for ourselves, regardless of public opinion.

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{Insightful Sunday} Perseverance

After over twelve years of battling with manic depression, which saw me teeter on the edge of suicide more times than I can count, finally being able to feel at peace & really be happy is an almost overwhelming sensation.  When I think of all the times I nearly gave up on life, fearing that the fog clouding my mind would never clear, unable to enjoy the highs, in fear of the catastrophic lows that would follow, it all seems so alien to me now.

The past year has certainly pulled me through my toughest times & forced me to shed myself of old habits, old thoughts & any niggling negativity, that was dragging me down & stopping me from really living & enjoying my life.  Now, instead of smashing my head against a wall, or passing out on a cocktail of drugs & alcohol, my lowest point is at the bottom of a biscuit tin. 

No longer do I feel that pang of emptiness inside, that loneliness that ate away at me like a disease, slowly but surely blanking out the light in my eyes.  No longer do I feel the need to leap out of my own body, or cocoon myself in my own thoughts, that were always so tinged with madness & which pushed me further & further away from those I loved.

I may not yet have found myself whole, my life still very much a work in progress, but I have at least released myself from the ties that bound me.  From the heartache, the fear, the soul crushing negativity that was suffocating me & leaking the joy from my life.  I have emerged from my chrysalis, reformed & ready to take flight with new wings, in a new open & loving world.

I guess the one thing I've learnt more than anything, is to never give up.  It really is darkest before the dawn & even when it seems like the walls are caving in, persevering just that little bit longer can truly be the difference between the end & a new beginning.  Sometimes a little bit of faith, goes a long way.

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{Insightful Sunday} Perspective.

Whilst in Rome, I had a conversation with a friend about money, that really made me think a lot about the difference between knowing your truths & living them.  Over the past few months, I feel as though I've had a lot of conflicts with people & perhaps myself, over money.  Let's face it, it's always a touchy subject, especially between friends & family.  I think the fact that everyone takes such a different stance on how they view money & equally how they spend it, that conflicts just naturally occur.

Discussing the matter with the Swede, before I left for Rome, he said "it's called currency for a reason." Something that stuck with me, because he was right, it is & it should naturally flow in & out.  I mean, if we think back a few centuries, to when life was a little simpler & we were exchanging chickens for chairs, or gold for armour, the introduction of an actual currency was still only intended as another bartering tool.  Yet, why in this day & age are we so afraid to exchange our chickens?  Instead storing them up, like we're facing the apocalypse.

Are we so afraid that if we spend what we have, we won't ever have more.  That something bad might occur & we'll end up destitute.  As a western civilisation, our concept of poverty is if we don't have the best car, or the latest Playstation game, our wardrobe isn't 'on trend' enough, our TV is too small, or we can't eat out every week.  Yet, putting things into perspective, isn't real poverty when you don't have shelter, you can't afford to feed yourself or your family & your children are dying because you can't access proper medical care?

We're rich in so much, yet so poor in appreciation & perhaps perspective.  Unable to grasp that the worst case scenario is still pretty good, in comparison with someone else's actual reality.  Admittedly, even I myself have been guilty of being impatient & greedy, in my lack of overall perspective.  Flicking through the pages of Vogue, or skimming through my Instagram newsfeed, finding myself sucked in & feeling forlorn & sorry for myself that I don't have everything I want.  Yet when I look around & see that I actually have so much, I realise I'm taking things for granted.

I have wonderful friends who love & support me.  I have a roof over my head & somewhere to sleep every night, again, thanks solely to friendship.  I am able to afford to feed myself, to do yoga every day & the freedom to follow my dreams & travel.  I even had the great fortune of inheriting a bicycle, which means I can get around town easily & for free.  In truth, all my needs are met.  Okay, I don't currently have the security of a fixed income.  I don't have a place of my own.  I don't even have a bed, but honestly, in truth, what does that even matter.  When I realise what I do have, I realise how fortunate I am & this makes me very thankful.

Sometimes, even with a fixed income, I find that some people struggle with their heap.  Yet, I think, if we hold onto money, if we fear letting it go, constantly striving to earn more, only to fear spending it, then really, we're misunderstanding its true intention.  It's a circulatory system after all.  You earn, you spend, you earn some more & round goes the economy.  If you hold onto it, what good is it to you, other than the numbers increasing on your statement.  Buy what you need, love what you have, don't be afraid to treat yourself.  Enjoy it, or don't waste your precious time & effort struggling to earn it.  At the end of he day, what are you afraid of?  What's the worst case scenario?

Of course, it can be hard to accept letting money go, when you don't necessarily have the guarantee of it coming back in, but sometimes you just have to have a little faith.  Do I feel a wave of anxiety sometimes, when I have to shell out for something?  Damn straight.  Now & then I have a little internal meltdown, panicking about the what ifs, then I take a moment to really think about my worst case scenario & honestly, it's not that ugly.  So I pay out, I buy the organic groceries, I feed myself, I let go & trust, because ultimately, I know my truths & I'm starting to make sure I live them.

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